“Nice guys/ladies finish last” represents inhumanity at it’s worst and why we need to fight this flawed ideology

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Image courtesy of fotographic1980 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What do we entirely mean when it comes to the word “nice”? To quote Oxford Dictionaries online, it is defined as “giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive:”.

So in a world full of war, hostility and grievance, why do so many within society consciously and subconsciously discriminate against individual human beings who fit this precise definition of a word that has been commonly misunderstood and even abused?

Why have we as a society become so brilliant at undermining other people and even ourselves when it comes to having the potential to provide the antidote to the vitriolic negativity that makes our Earth a more and more unpleasant place to live? Are we just better are hating each other rather than truly loving one another?

The whole context of this blog article will without doubt be concerned with a specific area of life, but it can be arguably applied to the whole of life. But who is anyone to undervalue the real meaning of the word “nice” when it comes to finding love? When one reads the definition of the word then it is very clear that connotations such as boring and dull do not have a home.

And thankfully so, because too many people incorrectly think that a nice person equates to being a boring person. Nothing could be more further from the truth. You wouldn’t just describe a person with a radiant personality, many life interests, a sense of outgoingness, strong intelligence and good looks as off putting, would you? You wouldn’t describe a person who is charitable and looking out for the welfare of others as ignorant and uncaring, would you? And you certainly wouldn’t describe someone with ambition and drive as a person symbolic of predictable boredom, would you?

So why on earth do too many people find themselves falling for the trap of “nice guys or ladies finish last”? It is one of the most bizarre, distasteful and upsetting paradoxes in life. And it isn’t just a one off occurrence. It happens repeatedly in every corner of society, amongst a high volume of people and is somehow seen as the “norm”. It is one of the most shameful lines of thinking that has ever come about within the history of human civilisation. And those that celebrate and champion such an ideology are a contemptous reflection of themselves.

Because by believing, championing or saying that nice men or women finish last, you are actually predjudicing against people who hold qualities or traits that are humanely desirable. By backing such a statement, you are even infecting with the poisonous virus of doubt into their minds which could yet lead them astray into losing much of the quality that substantiates their positive sense of personality, values and well being. And overall, you are playing a part in creating an unpleasant atmosphere of bitterness, selfishness and true hate. Add this all up and you create an overall apocalypse of inhumanity.

Controversial this might sound, but I have seen far too many people in my time emotionally hurt, bitter and even angry after experiencing what I must imagine were forebodingly negative and unfulfilling relationships. When one exits such a relationship, there is no consolation prize. Rather, members of the opposite gender, or even the same, become more sceptical with each other. And this sets a dangerous precedent.

And all this at the same time whilst many great, great people will be going through their twenties and even their thirties and yet they will never know what it is truly like to be in love. And dare I say this, but there will be even individuals who might travel though life knowing nothing but true independence. That for the great cynics of love and relationships may be a great blessing, but loneliness isn’t exactly an ideal definition of positive defiance.

Being nice does not equate to being predictable and unexciting. Unfortunately, so many people’s perceptions have been completely misconstrued. It’s time to go back to basics.

One Comment Add yours

  1. James Nicoll says:

    Let us ‘reclaim’ the true meaning of nice!
    I am often heard proclaiming that something is ‘nice’, or he / she is ‘nice’. I use the word in it’s original context and not as an insult or with negative connotations.
    As for love, well it is true that many people will never experience ‘true love’ in their lives. Too many people today are only looking for instant gratification rather than something with depth and substance. I certainly find this with men, gay men. It’s all too common for them to want intimacy, sex etc but don’t seem to be looking for something for ‘keeps’.
    Maybe it’s a societal thing, instant gratification? The 3 minute culture? Maybe humans have just lost their way?
    Anyway, I will keep positive. I know that I am a nice guy, and that’s what matters. There are other nice people out there too…we just need to meet and connect…and then hey presto!

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